For me, 2015 was a year of extreme manifestation. A year of accelerated growth. A year of proving myself to myself. A year of proving myself to everyone else around me. Ultimately, it was a year of watching miracles happen and dreams come true.
However, if I’m extremely forthcoming, 2015 was supposed to be the rebound year. It was absolutely supposed to be the year of coming back like I’d never left. It was as if 2014 was the set-back meant for the set-up in 2015. Everything was supposed to come full circle. EssentialIy, I was supposed to be the Comeback Kid and 2015 was tailor made for that narrative.
I left 2014 with a broken heart and a confused and almost broken spirit. Entered into 2015 with a renewed desire to feel completely unbroken in every area of my life. I entered into 2015 committed to healing and recovery. These were the destination and I was fine with whatever journey would get me there. Little did I know, this journey would end up making 2015 not only one of the best years of my life thus far, but also one of the most intense years of my life.
One of the greatest lessons I learned in 2015 is that when it feels like there is something holding you back from something you really want, that it’s usually you. We are powerful enough to achieve anything we want. Conversely, we are also powerful enough to create seemingly insurmountable obstacles to the things we really want. There’s nothing novel or groundbreaking about this lesson, but when I reduced it down even more to something that I could really share with my readers that could be beneficial, I realized that the core of this lesson is impatience…
I was so impatient that I was slowing the manifestation of my dreams. Patience is a virtue and I work daily to cultivate it. Patience is key in manifestation because that timeline of Where You Are vs. Where You Want To Be requires a different version of you. If you try to rush through this process, it’s like running into a brick wall over and over again until you knock your head enough times to realize that there’s got to be a better way to get around/over the wall. Throughout 75% of 2015, I let my impatience get the better of me.
I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it. The biggest thing being California. I felt like a dog chasing its tail to no avail when it came to California. I thought I’d never get here because that’s what it felt like. Around September is when I had a very real conversation with myself and, most importantly, with God. I’d become so impatient that I was done with it all. My dreams had now become a point of contention and stress rather than something that made me happy and feel good.
I told God that He gave them to me and I couldn’t understand why He wasn’t allowing them to happen. I also told God that He could keep them, that I was satisfied with my life as it was even if those dreams never came true. I told Him that I trust His plan for my life enough to let go of dreams that literally kept me afloat when it truly felt like I was drowning in life.
What was funny is that even through my impatience, I was continuously being worked on. I was continuously evolving into the person that I had to become FIRST in order to have the dreams that I wanted come true. The moment I told God that all bets were off, everything flooded in. The levees broke in my life and I got everything that I wanted, everything that I’d prayed for, everything that had been placed in my heart for 2015 happened seemingly all at once.
On Christmas Day 2015, I visited Point Reyes in Northern California. The picture accompanying this post was taken there. I took in the magnificence of this place and felt overcome with emotion. Today, January 1st, marks my one month anniversary living in California. What a powerful day to celebrate the first day of 2016. California has taken such a positive toll on my mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health and well being. California is so soothing in so many ways. The lightness that I feel because I live here has given me the capacity to discover even bigger dreams.
“Where do we go from here?” is the question I asked God and myself atop that mountain.
Where do you go once your dream(s) come true? What’s next?
It’s not exactly the easiest question to answer, especially when one of your dreams takes you in a particular direction or to a specific destination.
The truth is, what you do after a dream comes true is just as important as what you do before it does. You handle yourself with care. You handle your thoughts with care.
It’s true what they say, God laughs at plans, so that’s why I don’t make plans.
The only thing I make is time to imagine my even wilder dreams coming true. The only thing I make is a commitment to see the evolution process through, hopefully a little more patiently than the last one. The only thing I make is a concerted effort to still marvel at hummingbirds, butterflies and rainbows. To always dance no matter who’s looking, to love incredibly hard, to laugh until it hurts, to smile as widely as I possibly can and, lastly, to create the necessary space for all of the amazing people, experiences and things on their way.
So, I suppose, to answer my own question. We go upward and we go onward. Even if “they” don’t get it. We follow our hearts and let the light guide and lead the way.
Cheers to a remarkable year ahead!
I love you.