I’m not sure what’s harder, keeping the light in the darkness or that moment when the light goes out. When it literally feels like the flame on your candle was blown out. Beyond that, feeling as if you’ve reached the point of no return and there’s not even enough wick left to light even if you thought it was worth trying to do.
So what do you do? Do you just leave it? Do you try to light it again? Or do you press forward in the darkness trusting that you’ll still somehow find your way.
Well the light went out for me in a certain aspect of my life a few days ago. I decided that it wasn’t worth trying to light again. I also decided that it was best to press forward in the darkness trusting that the light that had just gone out had reignited another light that I couldn’t put out if I tried. It’s funny how life works sometimes, seemingly purposefully pressing your buttons in an effort to catapult you to where you’re supposed to be, doing what you’re supposed to be doing and keeping you from seeing things that could distract you from your ultimate purpose.
It’s tough when the light goes out, particularly because you usually have some form of an allegiance to whatever no longer really does it for you. Maybe it’s your relationship or a friendship or a job or a version of yourself that you know you’ve outgrown. It doesn’t really matter what it is, what matters is that the only connection that’s left at that point is fear. Fear that you won’t find another job, fear that you won’t find another lover, fear that no one will accept or understand the new you.
I had that fear about putting myself out there and I probably would have stayed in that comfort zone a little bit longer than needed if a certain button hadn’t been pushed, repeatedly. I had finally been broken down and I cried uncontrollably for 30 minutes…at first glance it may have appeared to be an angry cry, but it was really a “ridding my body of resistance” cry. Deep down inside I knew exactly what I needed to do. When I got home, I bought http://www.BrittniPope.com and published my Facebook Like page www.facebook.com/BrittniJPope and finally accepted the proposal of my destiny. There wasn’t an ounce left of fight or resistance left in me after that cry.
The tide had turned and I experienced an inner shift and evolution that pushed me to make a huge life change in a few hours. I grew through it. I surrendered to the universe and to God because the last thing I could handle is making another conscience choice to defer my dream or destiny any longer.
So, here I am, fully prepared to dedicate myself to my dream in a last ditch effort to completely procure the life that I know is meant for me.
Gosh, it sounds like my dream life is being forced on me or something, but that’s not what I mean here, I mean that the inner shift I talked about earlier was me giving myself over completely to my dream. The light always goes out when there’s nothing left to keep it going. However, a dream life is an eternal flame that doesn’t go out and probably burns more spectacularly the longer you avoid it.
A dream unexpressed or unrealized can haunt you…imagine people who go their entire lives with unexpressed dreams and how frustrating that must feel. I know all too well the frustration and I’m only 24, I don’t want to go my entire life feeling like I’m going to suffocate.
So here I am, putting everything on the line for my dream because the light has gone out in every area of my life that isn’t aligned with it.
Thank you to those who have been following my journey from the start…buckle up, everything is about to get a little crazy! =]