“Life is what happens when you’re having fun…” Right?!
So I guess I’ve finally had that feeling, you know the one when pretty much everyone you know/knew is either pregnant, already a parent, engaged, already married or other things of the like? And then there’s me, single, 23, and buying a pair of shoes whenever I see a cute kid who gives me baby fever. And I’m all like where the hell was I when all of this reproduction and weddings were happening?!
Now please don’t misconstrue what I’m saying here, I love my life, in fact I feel like Carrie Bradshaw in Atlanta 86% of the time and I love it. But I’d be lying if I said the occasional thought about if I’m “behind the curve” didn’t creep into my head every now and then. And just when I think I should panic or look in the mirror and ask myself, “what’s wrong with me?” or wallow in my singledom whilst listening to The Script and Sade feeling like all I have to offer are my youth and empty womb, I remember that I’m only FREAKING 23 YEARS OLD and that I have plenty of time! And then I laugh at myself and chill the f*ck out.
This is by no means a slight to young parents and committed/engaged/married couples and maybe it’s just that inevitable question next to that ever-ticking biological clock that society may measure my worthiness and desirability by but sheesh it’s all pretty ridiculous, right?!
Conversely, the interesting thing is that whenever I talk to women who are either married or committed, with or without children, usually my age or older and tell them about my Brittni In The City life, they all tell me they wish they could have done or could do exactly what I’m doing and how I need to really enjoy this time in my life.
So am I supposed to choose? Am I supposed to be scouring every corner of the city for my soulmate and planning our wedding for the summer of 2014 in Nantucket? Am I supposed to just chill and expect to meet some hottie in the organic chips aisle in Whole Foods? Am I supposed to say screw relationships, screw guys, find my Sex and The City-esque crew of girlfriends and paint Atlanta red and raise some hell?
Well the only answer I can give myself to this question is, “Hell if I know!” Which, when I think about it, is the best answer for me at this point in my life. I’m 23, I’m still evolving and learning myself and falling in love with life and my desire to travel the world is one of the most important things to me. Am I against companionship and commitment? No. However, I am against succumbing to society’s idea that I should have my whole life figured out in my early 20s. I know people in their 30s and 40s who are still trying to figure life out.
Perhaps there is no right or wrong answer. Perhaps there is no by-the-book definition for how a young woman in her early 20s should be. There sure as hell isn’t a survival guide, so I and many other men and women my age, are left to figure it out by trial and error.
Screwing up, falling too quickly, moving too fast, letting a broken heart keep us down for too long, wanting it all, sticking it out when we know it isn’t right, feeling like we want to quit our day jobs and move to the woods and re-live Into The Wild because let’s face it some of us actually were happiest when we were penniless, thinking we want a kid when we have issues taking care of our pets properly and so forth and so on.
The good news is that I don’t have to panic or have everything figured out by tomorrow and neither do you if you can relate to this post. The bad news is that this feeling will creep into my head again and I’ll have to visit Zara to sort myself out, but hey, everyone’s life is different and above all I know, trust and believe that my life has been planned out perfectly for ME. =] My only job is to relax and go with the flow.
So, if you find yourself feeling like this, take a deep breath and say Relax (Insert first letter of your name here), You’re Only (insert your age here).