Cold Fever

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And what I felt was a heat, I became flushed with a fever so overwhelming that I thought I might die. And then the tears came…. Rushing out of my eyes indicating a dam of sorts within me had just given way. Each tear evaporating quickly, just as rain hitting pavement does on a sweltering summer day. This steam now adding masterfully to the haze I had become too delirious to escape. The sudden onset of flooding from my eyes halted just as suddenly and then the worse thing of all happened. I was dry heaving from crying so hard with no tears coming out, but I could feel that the tears were still there, perhaps welling up inside. The sadness I felt washed over me like a primordial baptism revealing the worst heartbreak of all. The kind of heartbreak with no warning at all, a type of betrayal that seeped in and had gone unnoticed for what felt like an eternity. And then in a split second this deception blew through my life like a tornado on a war path leaving only memories in its wake. For me it felt as if I had been lifted, twisted and dropped in a hauntingly unfamiliar place. That fever having now morphed into a hypothermia bringing with it a numbness only quelled by a hard-headed incessant pulse. I was so cold and the only warmth that could remedy this iciness belonged to the same person who caused it. And then what I felt was a calm pour slowly over my body balancing out the extremes of having loved and lost in the same day with the humbling realization that tomorrow will feel the same way.

With Love,

Brittni Pope

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