And there came this moment where I was no longer sure that I could continue…
Not so much a lack of courage, but rather a lack of fight left for this losing battle.
The idea that my enoughness still left you hungry for more, more of something I didn’t possess to give you. The acceptance that your enoughness still left me yearning for someone who I wasn’t even sure really existed outside of the confines of my endless imagination. We were both oceans, two large amassing bodies of water who didn’t mix, and with that, you went your way and I went mine. I couldn’t bring myself to blame you, over time I just understood that we were both creations of circumstance and you belonged to someone else and I was just renting you. I,too, was just biding my time, gathering up pieces of the broken hearts all around me in a valiant attempt to piece back together my own heart. Too many lovers gone astray, taking with them the parts of me too damaged and unyielding to give way to yet another heartbreak. And you darling, you were just heartbreak personified, a kind of heartbreak that I hadn’t yet experienced enough to even know where to begin to ease your pain. I knew that I had enough fight left within me to try, to try as I had so many times before, but how could I when you wouldn’t let me? And with that, the war ended, I raised my white flag and watched as you walked off into the distance and eventually, hopefully, into the arms of the love that we both so deserved.
Ps: HAPPY EASTER!!!! 🙂