Firstly, Happy Thanksgiving everyone! This post is part retrospective, part OMG, part what the hell happened and part why I’m thankful for everything that has happened in the past year.
Well today marks a whole year that I’ve been single. WOW. This isn’t wow because it is the longest I have gone without being in a relationship or anything. This is wow because my life has changed SO MUCH in the past year that it quite honestly blows my mind. We all hear that talk of how much can change in a year and some of us write it off because our lives haven’t changed that much. Well that used to be me until this past year happened. I have literally been riding the roller coaster of change this year. Extreme highs to the most extreme lows. Weekends spent in such a haze that it felt like I was trapped in a fog of emotion… Seeing different sides of people. Seeing different sides of myself. Beginning my spiritual journey. Ending relationships. Creating relationships. Falling in love with myself. Learning how to forgive myself. Standing up for myself. Fighting for what I believe in. I could go on and on and on, but I’ll spare you.
Even as I’m writing this and thinking back on all that has happened, it just baffles me. This time last year I was a college student thanking God for Thanksgiving break. Now I’m a college graduate trying to find my footing in the workforce. People who I thought would always be around are no longer in my life and it’s almost overwhelming. You know sometimes you tell people things and you think you mean them. Hell, you do mean them in that moment and then BOOM, you all had to leave each other behind.
In essence, that’s the moral to this post…letting go and learning to be ok with that.
Everyone can’t move forward with you, they just can’t. We’re all changing, whether it be from year to year, minute to minute, moment to moment, none of us are staying the same. None of us. Sometimes we experience one life altering thing. ONE THING and it may not even be that big of a thing and BOOM we’re changed forever in that way. How crazy is that to think about?
This year has been all about the art of letting go for me. I still kind of suck at it, but it’s a process and I know that. Letting go of people and situations that no longer serve me and having no qualms with it. Not trying to fix it, but readily identifying and recognizing this fact and changing it. We rob ourselves when we try to hold onto these people and situations of true happiness.
Of course, everything is transient, this is a definite. But if we take some control over who and what we want in our life, we can damn sure come close to being as happy as we can for each season in our life. Seriously.
Seems a bit far out, I know, but it isn’t really. When I cut my losses and yanked myself out of depression I rediscovered my own resilience and just how integral letting go really is.
We can’t make everyone like us. We can’t make everyone love us. We can’t make everyone feel the same way we do about them. We can’t always turn a shit situation into sugar. (Some situations are just shit and you have to leave no matter how scary it seems)
When we refuse to let go or let go fully we are giving those people or situations permission to hold us back, keep us stagnant and keep us from becoming our best selves and who God intends for us to be.
Sometimes letting go gets gory and people get hurt, that’s just the way that it is, but letting go is truly a necessary evil. It will hurt you, make you cry, make you curse the stars, make you question God, make you wish you’d never ever ever laid eyes on this person or come into this situation, but once you make it out of it you should see how strong it made you. I can honestly say that I am able to look back on hurtful people and situations that I let go of and not feel anger. I won’t lie and say that I feel love for them, but at least with a neutral feeling I’m not harboring emotions that only hurt me. And hopefully in time I will be able to look back lovingly. Key words there: IN TIME.
Let go. Open yourself up to a complete 180 in your life. Embrace change.
It’s scary of course, but just use me as an example…
In one year (in no particular order)…I broke someone’s heart, did something that I never thought I would do, realized I was still in love with someone else, came into full acceptance of who I am and most people still don’t know this, graduated college, got a job, quit that job, let go of one of the people I ever truly loved, let go of someone who I thought was my best friend, fell in love with Charleston, had 2 huge health scares, experienced a lot of turmoil in my personal life, met someone who I really like, became depressed, came out of that depression, created lots of new relationships, started my spiritual journey, and sooooo much more. Oh yeah, and I EVEN rocked out on stage at a rock concert with one of my favorite bands, too!!!
AND I’M STILL ALIVE AND BETTER THAN EVER. So why on earth would I be thankful for all of this? Well because, I needed some conditioning and I know that God is whipping me into shape because something awesome is on the way.
You can make it. Just keep going.
After all, the only way out is through.