Up In the Air

You pushed and I pulled. You ran and I stayed. You flew and I remained….grounded in a pain that encapsulated and choked every ounce of feeling out of every fucking atom that comprised me on that day. A love so deep that it coursed within my veins and exploded just as it rendered my brain useless, thoughtless, obsolete in everything that it once was and I looked up to watch you flying above looking down on me as if that was actually enough. Bold and reckless in all your glory, my feelings splattered everywhere in all their splendid gory madness. You came into my life and I stood in awe of how everything that I believed to be true spontaneously combusted and I no longer even trusted you. My darkest thoughts rusted in the doldrums of a mind that was shunned time after time. Compressed ideas and notions turning into lonely diamonds who became confused as to why their beauty and uniqueness made no one want them. And there you were, mining away tirelessly, as if you were owed those shimmering pieces of rock. But you kept on digging even after I begged you to stop, you dug and you dug and you dug only to realize that all you would ever come up with was dust. Shimmering particles of me dancing in the air tightly bound in their non-conformity, yet too loose to ever grasp even momentarily. Because that was me and you knew it. Even when you tried to run for the hills, I was the air that you were running through. Enough of a force to create a consistent friction and light enough to create the illusion that I never even existed at all. Designed to hold you in the air, but never, ever to break your fall.

With Love,

Brittni Pope


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