This quote is one of my personal mantras. This is a lesson that I had to learn the hard way. You cannot give your all to everyone or every situation you encounter. When you do this you wear yourself thin and once you give too much of your time and energy to a situation that is undeserving of it you will find that you have done yourself more harm than good.
For instance, if you always make yourself available to someone when he or she calls, but when you need him/her, he/she is nowhere to be found. If this pattern doesn’t change then you should channel your time into a different outlet. Or, perhaps an individual is repeatedly bringing negativity into your life and it sucks your positive energy out of you, be supportive to this person from a distance or explain to them how their energy drains you… Lastly, consider that you have a friend who needs your help, you do everything you can to help him/her, put him/her into contact with the right people or use your resources to help him/her and yet he/she doesn’t deliver. Perhaps you should only make your resources available to him/her when he/she is absolutely serious about using your help.
Do you see where I’m going with this?
So often, when we want to help people we continuously give our all even if they don’t hold up their end of the deal. I made a conscious choice to stop doing this because I realized that a lot of times I would feel sad or upset and that it began to foster desperation in my life.
This process at times can be difficult because it may cause you to have to distance yourself from people in your life which is never easy, but sometimes necessary. The other thing about this process is that you have to recognize where you’re expelling too much of your time, energy, and resources unduly. You usually realize this too late or at your breaking point and you realize how unhappy you are with how your time, energy, and resources are being treated in return. The good news is that with practice, you be will able to readily identify who and what is worth your “all” and who and what aren’t.
Now for clarity purposes, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with giving your all or trying your best in new situations, I simply mean stop giving it where it isn’t appreciated or in any situation that leaves you feeling inadequate. That’s what happens when you keep on giving your all where it isn’t deserved, you begin to question yourself and wonder if you’re enough? This will cause you to feel insecure about yourself and desperate, both negative emotions that you don’t have to deal with!
Your best is more than enough! And if a person or situation doesn’t recognize this then TA-DA, stop focusing your time, energy, and resources there. However, a good thing to note is that sometimes when people see more potential in you than what you seem to be giving, they may push you to be better.
A perfect example of this has to do with my boss and I. He wanted me to create a brochure for some software he developed for his company, and literally 6 re-designs later he was finally happy. Initially I felt really frustrated with him and partly with myself, but at the end of it, my first brochure compared to the one that went to print was like a kindergarten painting to a professional painting. It was sooo much better and I was thankful for that push because it showed me I’m capable of way more than I thought!
In closing, remain observant of the people and situations in your life. Try to figure out where your all is needed and where it isn’t. You will save yourself so much time, energy, and resources and have that surplus to focus towards yourself or to other areas in your life.
You can do this! I know you can!
Do you ever find yourself putting too much energy into the wrong places?